Ambition vs. Contentment: Life’s Second Greatest Power Struggle
If you read the title and are wondering what the first great life power struggle is: naturally, it’s life against death, but I thought I’d spare the hyper-drama for a bit later on.
So, without further ado…
Ambition is one of those abstract concepts in which every person has a different perspective, a different approach, or a different internalization of what it really means. Ambition is both crafted and metered by whom you surround yourself with. It is both a function of the environment you grow up in, and the environment you choose to participate in now.
Notice the use of the word choose:
You choose your environment. As creatures of free will, we have the power over our own futures to put ourselves in situations that will yield results that align with our long term goals. Going along with that, you then choose the nature of your own ambition.
The Pursuit of Ambition is not Binary
Ambition and contentment are in many ways a zero-sum game.
You may be a young entrepreneur who classifies yourself as 90% ambitious and 10% content, adding up to 100%. Perhaps you’re in the twilight of your career and are 70% content and 30% ambitious, again adding up to 100%. Maybe you’ve started a family, have two kids, but still would consider yourself 50% content and 50% ambitious, you guessed it, adding up to 100%. While not complete opposites, ambition and contentment plug into each other in such a way that could be explained by an equally balanced scale.
Ambition, at its very core, is being in some way discontent with what you have or where you are now. It is this underlying dissatisfaction that leads to a careful expenditure of effort to then create a new future, a new outcome, and a different field of view than the one you currently stand in. The present version of you does not have nearly enough, in whatever form that takes.
Contentment is the state, or perhaps the ability, of being able to sit back and take a breath, knowing that what you have is enough — whether that be family, money, social status, location, relational, or another important life factor. This is a moment, possibly sustained, of mental peace, so to speak, in which you’re finally OK with maintaining your personal status quo. You’ve made it. You’ve created that ideal life. Contentment is an end state in which the goal posts shift from person to person, especially by percentage. You’ve found your state of ‘enough’.
The abstract element of ambition, as mentioned in the opener, is that while it contrasts contentment, it also serves as the key that unlocks it.
Perhaps the most accurate term for happiness, then, is the one Aristotle used: eudaimonia, which translates not directly to “happiness” but to “human flourishing.
Shawn Achor, The Happiness Advantage
Here’s something you haven’t heard before
Don’t chase pure contentment. It’s nearly the same line of thinking of “don’t start companies to make money, start companies to create products that make the world better.” The money will be a byproduct of your excellence, much like contentment itself will be a byproduct of your ambition.
That being said, the path of hyper-ambition is rarely the easy path. Far from it — the path of unfettered ambition is one layered with early mornings, late nights, risks of time, risks of relationship, though some may call it the path of the true human experience
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
And yes, “risks of relationship” — This dynamic between ambition and content is hardly constrained to just your career. It’s chasing the right relationship for the right reasons, and aspiring to create bonds that last a lifetime. That requires more work than we’re willing to admit.
Yes, “risks of time” — our one ultimately finite resource in life is time. Money comes and goes, people come and go, but time has a hard stop for each and every one of us. It may seem obvious, but we’re extraordinarily cavalier about our own societal comprehension of time. See the following phrases:
1 — “How do you spend your free time?”
2 — “How do you use your time on the weekends?”
3 — “I’m working on this project to save time.”
We save, use, and spend time. It’s a currency, yet we find ourselves glued to computer and phone screens finding the next escape to spend the currency of our lives on. Shakespeare, in Hamlet, alluded to how both beggars and kings found equality in death. He wrote:
Worms are the emperor of all diets … A fat king and a skinny beggar are just two dishes at the same meal [for worms].
We all end up in the same place, regardless of how we live. Spend your time wisely.
The Anchor of Ambition
Ambition is the fuel to the life we desire, that uncertain future of long summer nights under the stars in a far-away land. Ambition is the drive and determination to want more, and to keep reaching for more.
This begs the question — how do we sustain this — and how do we maximize our potential. It’s as simple as two steps, a left hook right hook combination.
First, think big. Think long term.
This is where you come in. What are your wants? What are your desires? Where do you want to end up? What type of relationships do you want to surround yourself by? Do you want to change the world? What will be your legacy? Do you aspire to create a family — what form does that take? Do you want to enjoy what you do? How much money do you ‘think’ you need? Are you materialistic — what does that look like for you? Are you sure about everything you just asked?
If you don’t know and can’t answer these questions, then you owe it to yourself to begin to try new things and new thrills to explore the unknowns of your own minds. In a previous article, we dug into the merits of maximizing exposure to new inputs in order to benefit from the random opportunities seen along the way. This is doubly-true for finding the enlightenment of your desired future.
If you do know what you want out of life, explicitly write that out. If this changes over time, so be it — the anchoring thought remains, but you have your blueprint to begin architecting your foundation.
Now, ground your long term in tomorrow.
Amy Cuddy famously gave a TED Talk on how certain body language instantly boosts your confidence through positive affirmation of self. It is through affirmation and reminder that we take the reigns of our own minds.
Each night, take the time to remind yourself of how the trials of tomorrow will unlock the vast, boundless future of the day after. Of the week after. Of the month, of the year, and of the decade after. By orienting yourself on a daily basis, you create a system of intentional checks in which you take back control of your life.
You’re on nobody else’s schedule. You’re on the track that you’ve laid out for yourself, which is in and of itself one of the more empowering emotional experiences of human development.
Ground yourself in ‘why’. When you understand WHY tomorrow matters, you’re ready for what tomorrow will ask of you.
Are you getting slammed by a boss who doesn’t care?
Your resolve stems from understanding why that specific place at that specific time matters long term. If you hit a breaking point, there’s your built in check that demonstrates to you that you need to make a change. Go chase the opportunities that lead to the job in which you can be hyper-ambitious in an environment that excites you, and most importantly challenges you. Have fucking fun.
Are you in a toxic relationship in which insecurities are manifesting in unhealthy behaviors, such as dependence?
Your understanding of ‘why’ will light your path forwards. If your breaking point is reached, don’t be afraid to leave. Your self-admitted affirmation of desiring more is entirely human, just let the justification be true. Go chase the opportunities that set you on fire.
Are you doubting the future of a project, a new idea, a company, in which you’re personally invested?
Remind yourself of why it began in the first place. The seeds of doubt rarely sow anything other than discord — affirm to yourself why these trials are worth it, and steel your nerves for the opportunities of tomorrow that will breathe life into the very things you doubt. Trust your gut.
Go forth, and conquer the depths of your contentment.
